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Funny Retirement Poems



Welcome to Funny Retirement Poems for free retirement poems, funny retirement verses, inspirational retirement quotes, humorous retirement sayings, happy retirement jokes, short retirement party songs about the famous, military, teacher, nurse, pastor, police, fire fighter, postal worker, secretary, woman, man, dad, retirement card verses, retirement verse





Funny Retirement Quotes


Retirement

You wake up in the morning
With nothing to do
How you’re going to fill your day
You haven’t a clue
By the time you’ve had a leisurely breakfast
Your energy starts to sap
Before lunch the chances are
You’ll find the time to fit in a nap
At lunch, avoid drinking coffee
That’s far too soon
You don’t want it keeping you awake
All the afternoon
Get some fresh air
Go into the garden for a bit
Busy yourself
Having a nice long sit
When you’re thoroughly worn out
With all that fresh air
Take yourself back indoors
To your favorite armchair
Where you can have a good contemplate
About ways to get thinner
But try to fit in 40 winks
Just ahead of dinner
Then relax in the evening
Trying to understand
How you only managed to get done
Half the things you‘d planned
Never mind, don’t bother yourself
With any regret or sorrow
You’ve got plenty of time to fail
To do it all again tomorrow

Jon Bratton 2009

***

Late to rise
Early to bed
Collect that pension
Before you're dead.

***

You no longer have to punch a time clock
You can now do
what you want
when you want
anytime you want.

***

Retirement is a time
For feeling glad to be alive,
A time when friendships blossom
And enthusiasms thrive.

A chance to do the special things
You always wished you could.
Retirement is a special time
For knowing...life is good.

Congratulations on your
Retirement


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